Last night I had a vivid dream that I was outside at night in what looked like a European city with a friend. They handed me a cigarette, I took it, and I smoked it. I have never smoked a cigarette in my waking life, and never plan to, especially after this dream. But for some reason, I decided to take a puff.

I didn’t notice too much of an effect from it. It made me feel slightly more relaxed, but that’s it. I gave it back to my friend, she took a few more puffs, and handed it back to me. I decided to take a bigger puff to try to feel more of an effect from it. I breathed it in, held it in my lungs for a while, and breathed out. As soon as I breathed out, I felt absolutely horrible. I felt the stinging of the nasty cigarette smoke in my lungs and throat, and felt choked from it as well. I was struggling to breathe and was also fighting the stinging and smell that I could feel seeping into my lungs and throat. This is what woke me up from this dream.

I woke up realizing I was holding my breath, and I gasped for air. I viscerally felt how horrible smoking felt in my body, even after waking up. Although this probably seems like a PSA telling you to “stop smoking,” that’s actually not what this is about. I just reacted this way in my dream because I hate the smell of cigarettes. If you’re into it, then by all means. Go ahead. Haha.

What this PSA is actually about is breathing. Feeling the choke and smelling the smoke in my dream was a direct correlation to the fact that I wasn’t breathing well in my sleep.

I’ve had problems taking deep breaths for a while because of stress and anxiety. My chest and stomach have felt tight, which has restricted my ability to fully breathe. I’m able to get moments of relaxation and breathe deeply, but most of the time I’m only at half (or even less) capacity.

I’ve felt that this has been a problem, but this dream really made it clear to me how much of a problem it really is. After I woke up, came to my senses, and felt into the dream I had, I got an intuitive download that not breathing well- unintentionally holding your breath and shallow breathing- has the same intensity of negative health effects as smoking cigarettes.

So PSA- breathe well.

Some breath tips I’ve learned from others and from experience:

• Breathe from your belly/diaphragm. Not just your chest. Kinda hard to do when your chest and stomach are tight from anxiety, I know. Just keep focusing on relaxing. You’re free and safe enough to relax. 🙂
• Always breathe in through your nose. Breathing in through your mouth can cause your body to go into panic mode. You can breathe out from your nose or mouth, though.
• Breathing out from your mouth symbolizes releasing energy that you don’t want to hold on to. I use this during meditations.
• Breathing out from your mouth instead of your nose is also more effective for circulating large amounts of energy faster, which I use during energy healing/clearing sessions.
• Breathing in for a shorter amount of time than breathing out is very relaxing. The longer the breaths, the more relaxing as well.

You can try these out and see if they work for you. If not, never force anything. You’ll know what’s for you by getting in touch with your own body and seeing what feels good.

But yeah, in conclusion, make sure you’re breathing well so you don’t end up smoking a foreign substance and choking to death in your dreams.😂 Alright, talk to ya later.

My left shoulder/upper chest has this one spot that will give me sharp pain consistently throughout the day. This has been going on for months. I didn’t physically hurt it at all, so I know it’s due to stuck emotional energy.

Today I decided to do some reiki on my shoulder, especially around the area of sharp pain.

While I was holding my hand over the area, I breathed into it and asked why it was there.

It said, “Don’t give.”

Well, that doesn’t make sense, I thought.

Giving is part of the flow of life; you give and receive to create harmony and flow in the world.

I couldn’t think about it too much, though, because I was still concentrated on healing and releasing the tension. But focusing on this was working.

After I had released enough and felt into the relaxation, I felt into what my shoulder was saying some more.

My pain was saying that I give way too much of myself to other people, even when they don’t ask for it.

I recognize someone’s pain and try to console them by fitting in as perfectly as I can into their world.

I try to be everything they need so their own world feels complete, at the expense of who I am and how I want to live my life.

My mind will go so far as to give up my dreams, hobbies, time, energy, emotions… literally my whole being just to try to make someone else feel ok.

Yea, it’s pretty extreme. And toxic. I mean, they don’t even ask for it anyway! And even if they did, I’m devaluing and undermining my own self, my own being, my soul, and personality by giving it all away to someone else like that.

Luckily, I haven’t given into that inclination too much recently since I’ve been getting to know myself and valuing who I am a lot more. But I still go far enough to feel the heavy weight and pain of it.

Pain in the body translates very literally. If you feel weight or pain in your shoulders and/or upper back, it’s because you’re carrying something that’s not yours to carry.

I’ve been carrying others’ emotions on my shoulders and back for a very long time. The pain has travelled around my body as I’ve healed this, from areas in my upper back to my left shoulder and upper chest.

If I want the pain to totally disappear, I have to completely let go of this unreasonable responsibility for other people’s emotions.

When will I do this? I’ll keep you updated.

But for now, just know that you are not responsible for others. At all. Emotionally, physically, monetarily, etc. (Unless you’re a mother or father of a kid, obviously. Haha.)

Like, really.

Let that sink in. I’ll try to too.

Like, seriously. It’s called minding your own business.

Forreal.

Lift the weight off your shoulders and back.

Or in Erykah Badu\’s words, \”Pack Light.\”

<3

You already know your direction, you just don’t believe in yourself enough to follow it.

You know what you’re here to do, you just don’t believe in your own direction enough.

You cower and give away your decisions to others because you’re too coward to follow your own sense of direction.

Start believing in yourself.

Here I am, in the midst of making the most ground-breaking decision of my life.

I know I’m here to be an energy healer, channel, and intuitive meant to guide others into this new world,

But I’ve been too coward to boldly move forward.

I grew up in a conservative Christian environment and developed a judgmental attitude and mindset.

I heard people judge each other constantly for everything- looks, career, relationships, money, etc… and so I blindly did the same.

Now I am stepping into something that I would have been sent to hell for.

Or, at least shamed and judged by my community.

Those voices and attitudes are still in the back of my head…

Keeping me from trusting my own guidance and intuition… keeping me from trusting myself.

But who else am I supposed to trust nowadays?

With A.I. creating videos of fake scenarios that look too real, to everyone on social media spouting convincing, contrasting opinions on every subject under the sun…

There’s only one person that I NEED to trust. And that’s me.

So, here I am

Finally starting on this journey of being public with what I’ve been studying, feeling, and hiding under my belt for 5 years…

Believing in myself enough to at least start this blog.

More content to come soon. 🙂